If I could get paid for everytime someone dropped a rediculous comment in my lap this pregnancy, I would take that money and spend it on something big… Like a hot air balloon. Or a space ship. Or sushi boats for 50 of my closest friends. Cha-ching!
So I’ve compiled a short list of things NOT to say to someone who is pregnant.
And no, I’m not angry…
- Sooo, have you figured out how that works? Yes, I get naked with my husband and we do something dirty and it’s AWESOME! BoOM-PoW!
2.Not to be rude, but are you doing anything to prevent this? hmmmmm, NOPE!
3. Oh, it’s a (boy/girl)? Well, I guess that’s what you wanted. I don’t even know what to say to this! There was a point towards the tail of my first trimester that I ended up in the hospital (midwife recommended) thinking we’d lose the baby. It was horrible. So really it didn’t matter what gender, I was thankful at my emergency sonogram the next day, we had a heartbeat.
4. Seriously though, do you know how this happens? No, can you explain in great detail? I’m 16 years old and out of wedlock, please tell me…No pregnant woman wants their intelligence to be insulted. Surely, there is PLENTY of sacrifice involved in building babies.
5. You didn’t get him fixed?! This one took my breath away. I was still in the hardest trimester, completely laid out, incapacitated with weakness and puking from December til March and had only told a handful of people. Definitely took me by surprise, and being a “words-girl” myself, took me awhile to shake off.
6. (Bonus round) DANG, GIRL! You HUGE! You bigger than the last time! Hahahhaha, yes, it’s because I am… I’m definitely in the stage that it hurts to look at me. Try not to stare…”Eyes up here, people,” hahaha
Well, it seems that after the 2nd kid, the excitement factor from the majority goes way down and everyone starts questioning your sanity. I stopped telling people we were pregnant because honestly, I was tired of defending myself.
Out of all the silly comments, there was one that turned it all around for me. My husband went to the dentist and told him we were dropping a 4th. He went home and told his wife who called me freaking out- she was THRILLED! It was so exciting for her she dropped what she was doing and brought us dinner from the Olive Garden that night. An unexpected blessing.
“I remember how overwhelmed I was at having a 4th kid, I was terrified, like ‘how can I love another baby? I already have 3 others that max me out.’ But when you see that baby, it’s like you couldn’t imagine life any other way.” – Tammy Tuttle
I was so blessed by her that it negated everyone else’s comments. For the first time in this pregnancy, the sun was shining. A much-needed breath of fresh air indeed.
It does seem like there’s a special club for parents when initiated with 3 kids, and then another one when you graduate to 4 kids. A nod, an “I get it” highfive. These life-champions with multiples never say any of those comments above. They have counted the cost and understand the high demands. And blessings on blessings to them. Lord knows we need to raise up more kids with stable homes and big hearts to serve others.
And my mom said that life begins at 4 kids. “That’s when you start accidentally leaving them at gas stations.” (This was in the days before pay at the pump!) And she went on to have 2 more kids after that. She’s straight gangsta.
“What’s four kids like? Imagine you’re drowning……and then someone hands you a baby.” Comedian Jim Gaffigan
My husband and I, as much as we feel like we are drowning some days, we absolutely love our kids. We’ll stay up at night giggling over things they said or did that day and wonder why we got it so good. (One of my biggest regrets is not starting sooner. The Lord knew I needed that time to get my head on straight with Him first before I brought little people into the world.) I think one of the greatest blessings we can give our kids is providing them with built-in best friends because we won’t be around forever. They are nuts about each other and are becoming little arrows by my side, helpful, kind, thoughtful, funny. My best friends.
I was giggling as a I sent this video to my husband… Comedian Jim Gaffigan has done it again…(hit the volume on the lower right!) Enjoy!
Posted by Jim Gaffigan on Sunday, June 17, 2018
Believe me, I have a lot thicker skin than I used to have. And I’ve been so blessed by complete strangers at times- one just last night at a gas station after I finished teaching a workshop, he says to me with the biggest smile on his face,“Woman, you are having a boy, aren’t you?! That is one blessed baby.” It was so sweet. “He’s gonna be blonde and grow up in the church, huh?” It made my night. Because these days I get tired. I’m in the last stretch of the race, kind words like that go a long way. And blonde?! Alright!
So friends, just like the good book says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.” Take a look at the situation and ask: is this a time to celebrate? Life and death truly are in the power of the tongue.
Anyone up for a sushi boat?