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The January Rollercoaster

I have to admit, the last few weeks have been like a crazy roller coaster and we just passed the half way mark with January!

 

It was 3 days before Christmas, I ran into a (former) friend at the park. When I asked how she was doing, she rolled her eyes and during this brief altercation told me she “just wants to be selfish right now.” My heart aches for her. I miss her tremendously. She told me that I hurt her. She  told me to leave her alone. So painfully, I will respect her wishes. I’d yell “fire!” for  anyone walking down a path of self-destruction. I’d do it all over again, yes, even at the cost of our friendship. I grieve for her.

 

Earlier that week, I found out that a grade school friend was gunned down outside of San Fransisco in a drive-by shooting. She was 33 years old.

 

Fast forward to January, I headed to that funeral while Jonathan spoke to the congregation over the weekend on Choose Today– and the rollercoaster went up, up, and away! Story after story piled in- we almost didn’t have time to absorb each one! With all the incredible testimonies of neighbors coming to the Lord, families changing their lives and to the girl I sat next to in service saying she’s going to recant her divorce after hearing the message. Jonathan was beyond privileged to be asked to speak at a prison on Tuesday and the stories kept coming in. God is good!

 

That same weekend, another death. Oh, my heart ached to hear of the loss of 2 1/2 year old Ella Harper, the sweetest Trisomy 18 sassy-pants that ever graced anyone’s presence. She was a miracle baby from before birth, and when doctors encouraging to terminate the pregnancy, my brave friends Matt and Chelsea trusted God for the miracle -and He gave it and then some! She was a rockstar champ who surprised everyone. After a risky surgery this past weekend, that brave little toaster took her last breath and met her Creator. I could not hold back the tears today at her service thanking God for the miracle while grieving the loss.

 

I just needed to rest today. Sometimes we all need a little time to rest and reflect. {I find that gardening gives me solace. There’s something about digging into dirt and the possibility of growth that is renewing for me. I always thought that I had some ‘farmer’ in my blood. Don’t judge me for asking for earthworms for Christmas a few years ago.}

 

As I sorted out the herbs, I was reminded of a conversation that was delivered to me during prayer week. Through the highs and lows of this week, there was a day in particular I was wrestling in frustration about two different issues, wondering when a breakthrough would happen. God is so good that He would even consider me. I think there is nothing in the world He hasn’t already given so my goodness, why am I in such need, over things so trivial? But as extravagantly gracious as He is, He sent some encouragement my way. A friend approached Jonathan during the 6-7am prayer sessions at church and asked him to relay a message the Lord wanted me to know — that He will perfect that which concerns me. One of my favorite verses. He’s too good.

With all that’s transpired this month, Jonathan’s message, the two funerals, I’m confronted with the whole “life is short.” theme  again. No one knows their own day or hour when it’s over. I don’t know where I’d be without His presence daily correcting, encouraging, guiding me. How good He is to speak to His people, whether we are in desperate times or just need a good word. But even more than that, eternity is forever– we can hardly grasp the concept. What are we doing that will last? Are you ready? Am I?

 

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The Lord will perfect that which concerns me;
Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands.
Psalm 138:8

In His Grip,

Amy's Signature

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