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Changing Clocks

The lights go out and I can’t be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have brought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead, singing
Come out of things unsaid
Shoot an apple off my head and a
Trouble that can’t be named
A tiger’s waiting to be tamed….

It’s been 13 years since the release of Coldplay’s Clocks on their sophmore album Rush of Blood to the Head. 13 YEARS!! That piano riff was so signature I believe it left an indelible mark on the music industry and personally, I could just eat that entire album up in one sitting.

Back then, I could related to the ebb and flow of Chris Martin’s emotionally driven lyrics. And being a musician, I even bought the sheet music so I could learn that entire album on the piano. No matter where I went, everytime I found an empty piano, I would tickle them ivories with that song. I even went to an out-of-town Coldplay concert by myself when I was in MT school and ended up getting super-lost and then slapped with the nastiest speeding ticket on the way home. Well worth it.

Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know, singing

Come out upon my seas
Cursed missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure?
Or am I part of the disease? 

There was something about those lyrics that struck a chord in me {pun intended}. Confusion never stops. My life… Cursed missed opportunities. My life… Am I part of the cure? Or am I part of the disease? Ugh!!!

 

As I heard this song on the radio recently, I remember that time in my life where nothing made sense. I had no purpose or meaning to my life. And the opportunities I missed, I could not let them go. It was almost like they controlled me. I wondered if my life would be different if I could turn back the clocks. I dwelt on so many mistakes I made that I could not think clear enough about making better decisions for the future. Regrets. Confusion. Nothingness. Always following me where I went. I think we all ask that same question at some point in our lives: Does my life really matter? Am I do anything to lighten the load of humanity or am I just adding to the weight of it? For the longest time, I couldn’t answer that question.

Fast forward to present day, I can say I no longer live in that mindset of confusion, chaos, and even emotional instability. My past? I have learned to make like Frozen and  ‘let it go”. The opportunities I miss now? Just a brush off the shoulder. I have learned that in the darkest closets of life, the Almighty God still whispers our name, if we would only sit still enough to listen. The weight of sorrow of the human race can be cured. Maybe not as a whole but individually. There is peace, freedom and direction that comes with reconciling with our Creator. I never knew it existed until I experienced it myself.

So when I hear this song, I still roll down them car windows and belt it out like I used to. This time, for me, it rings a totally different tune.

In His Grip,

Amy's Signature

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